christmas and new years is approaching and every year I have to sit and reflect on the year that just passed before my eyes. The accomplishments that were reached, the nights that were incidentally forgotten and the moments you try to hold onto and cherish forever. With every year there come heartache, deceit, pain, struggles, happiness, love, and loss. Each year you change and grow into someone that you might have been last year. You start learning from your mistakes, or just start making bigger ones. Every year it seems like life comes more complicated and time is moving faster. With every year there are a couple moments that you wish you could relive, forget, or redo. Some years seem harder than other and sometimes you cant wait until the new year comes so that you can have another chance. But for whatever the reason it is that you might be looking forward to the new year, just make sure its for the right reasons.
As for me, this year hit me close to home. This year was all about feelings like a had nothing to feeling like i have everything. From testing my waters to understanding the meaning of responsibility and reliability of ones self. This year taught me more than I ever excepted. I learn a lot about my family, my friends and myself.
But I've learned first hand that one year can shape you but should not define you. That one year, can't hold you back, can't make loose you hope or believe that life isn't a fairytale in its own way.
Dont let anyone feel bad for you, pity you, or dont pity yourself for the things you've gone through, the sacrifices youve had to because that is life.
Love is inevitable. Love is and always will be undeniable. It’s perplexing, overpowering, and down right conclusive.
The beauty about Love is that everyone will find it. Either in a passion or with a person we all at one point find it or it finds us. So if this feeling is so predestined, so significant in our lives why do so many of us seem to fail at it. It may seem like we have failed because were left brokenhearted, bitter, or with overwhelming pain. But Love is not a failed or pass subject. It’s a level that takes time and patience and once you overcome many courses to get there the struggle seems to be many times well worth it. So Yeah, it may just seem like many are left with pain and sorrow but nothing last forever.
Love is intense. Many deny the feelings of Love because they are intimidated by a feeling that is uncontrollable.In denial with the fact that Love can happen to them, or scared because of the past and what can actually happen in the future.
Love is bittersweet. Love comes with not instructions, no guidelines, and no handbook. There may be opinions and tips on the way, but everyone leaves different impressions. Consider your options and go with the flow.Enjoy every moment while it lasts because love comes with no guarantees.
Love is a game of chance.Many find out that you win some and lose some.It’s a game of following your heart because noone can honestly know how you feel or what to do in your situation. Allow yourself to fall, and when you do fall hard.Big risks come with big rewards.
Love will always be a mystery. A chance, a chase. Whether we have good memories or not, we all at one point will have gone through it.
Moving on may be one the hardest obstacle to overcome on your own. Letting go takes courage and strength, your allowing yourself to let go of what your use to, comfortable with and accepting new and unfamiliar. You may believe that the struggle is hard and the pain is unbearable, but soon enough someone or something comes around and gives you that hope and inspiration to keep going, to keep trying, and to believe things will get better because undoubtedly time heals all wounds.
all i ask if for consistency and reliability. i don't want designer things or flowers just your word and company. I dont ask for too much, i don't expect a lot, all I need is consideration and trust.
Late nights laying awake in bed makes you think of how I got here. How each decision placed me in these situations, relationships, and consequences that I face today. How if I made one different decision that my life may be drastically different.
These constant thoughts leave me dazed and confused. Where have i gone wrong and what was I thinking when I did it. How I chased many dreams, aspirations and made many great memories and accomplishments but still manage to be left with an empty feeling inside me. What life changing event will finally leave me satisfied. Make me feel content with who I am and what I have done with my life.
But that's the thing. Deep down I may never wake up and feel that satisfaction. That I will always be chasing bigger and better. That I may be chasing dreams that are too out of reach and unrealistic. For that my hopes and expections are too high.
When was that ever a bad thing. When did someone ever tell you to never dream big? So I've come to the conclusion that searching for excellence will never be a bad decision. The only way I can look back and regret my decisions is when I don't acknowledge and accept who i am today and how i got here. If i keep looking for bigger and better without being grateful for what i have, nothing will ever be good enough.
so always remember why you made those tough decisions. never forget where you came from and what you had to do to get there. love your life and the people that are in it because you never know what next decision will leave you with.
Nobody understands how much I miss you, I miss how much we used to talk, & miss all the things we used to do. I try not to admit it to myself that I still feel this way. Nobody knows that I still wake up thinking of you each day. I still think of you & I really do miss you. I would give up everything I have to be everything we're not.
There are only four questions of value in life. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love --Johnny Depp
Lets take a step back to 2008 Overall, 2008 had its ups and downs but what year doesn't. last year, i finally decided what i might actually want to do with my life and started to look at colleges. i think when i started looking at schools it really made me realize that im not going to be in bloomingdale all my life, that im not going to be able to do whatever the hell i want, and that i need to take more responsibility because when im off on my own, thats it. last year i pushed many people away because i felt they were either holding me down, being substitutes, or i was their substitutes. I went to korea and came back a totally different person. I lost friends and gained friends, and was in really good relationships and really bad ones. I know every year that i gain a little bit more maturity, understanding, and faith in who i am. I don't know exactly what i want or what i deserve but its there. I've learned to be more conservative with my words and only vocal when i feel its needed. you never know when the last time you are going to talk to someone, see someone, or love someone. ever since my cousin lost her finance in a car crash or even when we were in our accident i realized that you never know whats going to happen. 2008 was a good year though, a really good year.
Now for 2009: Senior year, graduation. wow i cant believe its already going to be second semester and im going to graduating this year. i cant believe that i am going to be a freshman in COLLEGE in September... wow. all i can hope for is the best. This year im just going to spend it with people that i love, that i have fun with. This year, im not going to waste time on people that dont waste time on me. This year im going to laugh more, and worry less because in the end everything will work out the way they are suppose to work out.. because they always do."There are certain people who are not meant to fit in your life, no matter how much you want them to."
"So I will never know the right way to say thanks for all the nights and days you spent hanging out, because that's what this is about.How I, I am not into the idea of living without you."
Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know, and maybe we're thankful for all the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate. - grey's anatomy I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. - marilyn monroe
What you have done is the past. And you alone get to
determine what your future will be. You are not your past. You are what is possible for you. Own this truth and go forward in your life. Forgive yourself, and others will be able to forgive you.
